The tension of anticipation

Why can't I resist chocolate in the house? The only way for me to not eat buckets and buckets of it is to not have it anywhere near me. Why? I know that it will taste so much better after some time off, yet I keep nomming, thinking that every next bite will be just as good as the first, but it never quite is. Why can't I delay the immediate gratification for the greater enjoyment? What is it about the passing of time that I can't handle without going for another tasty bite? Is it that I value the experience of chocolate-eating so highly that I devalue the myriad of other potentially very enjoyable experiences in my day? So, then, I convince myself that I need the chocolate otherwise there'll be no other good things in my day? Maybe. I do know one thing, though. It is that focusing on the very moment I am in right now is helping me to appreciate how much good is actually going on. Like here, now, I'm blabbing about whatever the hell I feel like and it feels good. I like that others might relate to what I'm talking about, and yet I don't care if they don't because the blog is really just for me right now. So, clearly, this moment is enjoyable, and good. Though, if I were just thinking about going for the next and the next and the next piece of the supposed all-magical chocolate block, I wouldn't see this moment for what it is. Interesting, very interesting. And also, the other day I found that while there were things in the future that were stressing me out, focusing on where I was right there and then, and what I was doing, I realised that that moment was good, and that it could quite do without the stress of what may or may not be a problem in the future. It was quite a revelation to realise how disconnected each moment is from the next (though obviously they are connected in other ways). Project for self: spend a day noticing the moments. As many as possible, whatever is happening. Then note how important the all-magical chocolate seems. (I don't care how touchy-feely this seems - it was quite a revelation.)